butterfly kisses

Happy April Fool's Day.

What makes April 1 a "happy" one? Seems to me like lots of people are getting pissed off instead.

I have been at it for a while and each time, I feel just a bit shot down but nonetheless wiser after every house walk-through. Shot down because each place I've been to does just not speak home to me. Wiser because I get to see some things I know I don't like or have not considered when looking for a place to move into.

I know I shouldn't rush into it just for the sake of moving out. I should consider all things carefully. Sigh. On to the next.....

What Emoticon Represents You Best?

Pai, the emoticon that represents you best is the Smiling Face.

What's up, smiley? Somehow you just always seem to find a way to turn that frown upside down. Your upbeat attitude and friendly demeanor brighten up any room, including your favorite chat room.

Like your classic emoticon counterpart, you're a staple on anyone's list. Boring days and sleepless nights are far more bearable when you're online to chat. Whether you're shooting the breeze, catching up, or giving out advice, you can cheer up anyone on the other side of the conversation. So keep lightening the mood, making new friends, and bringing smiles to other folks' faces. After all, it's just so natural for you!

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What's Your Romantic Pattern?
Why You Choose The Partners You Choose

Pai, your romantic pattern is Love vs. Honor!

Love vs. Honor is the most dramatic pattern of all — defined by an innate tug of war between what you want to do and what you think you should do.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: There is something coming between you and love.

Perhaps it's a religious conviction, a previous commitment, family, patriotic duty, or deep belief that good things only come at a terrible price.

You tend to put others' needs before your own. Romance is not your number one priority, though in the back of your mind you are holding out for a soul mate.

If you're looking for examples you can start back with the Greek myths where heroes were often forced to give up love and the comforts of home for battles in far-off lands. In Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations," Estella chooses to obey her benefactress and break Pip's heart, even though she deeply regrets doing so. Political obligations and previous relationships tear Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman apart in the unforgettable film "Casablanca."

In your pattern, you find your soul mate, only to discover you can't be together unless you give up something precious, or jeopardize other relationships or ideals that are important to you. The decision itself is at the heart of your pattern. How do you choose? If this is your one chance at true love, can anything be worth giving it up? Can you enjoy love knowing you've betrayed something dear to you to achieve it? Or will the love be stronger for your sacrifice. This pattern is about confronting your values and life choices. It's about reevaluating what's important to you and choosing to remain on the same path or move in a new direction.

If you've devoted yourself to long-term academic study or a consuming career that demands longevity in order to succeed, careers like medicine, law, business — you might feel you're letting yourself down if you throw yourself off-track with a relationship. Do you have a family member for whom choice of religion, career, social position is a really big deal? Are you afraid to disappoint them if your partner doesn't match the mold?

In the movie version of "The End of the Affair," Julianne Moore plays a woman who makes a pact with God to stop cheating on her husband if her lover survives a terrible injury. When he lives, she's forced to keep her promise, breaking both their hearts in the process. All relationships, at some point or another, require sacrifices. These painful decisions are familiar to everyone. No wonder it's so easy to relate to this romantic pattern's historical, literary, and cinematic counterparts. You're living it!!

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OK, so I got some free time. Envy me!

Today I say goodbye to a person that I unknowlingly grew up with -- Pope John Paul II. He is the only pope I have ever known. I may not agree sometimes on some points of his teachings, but then that is just me being human. What I admire most about him is his never-ending drive for perfection as a good shepherd to his flock. I felt a certain joy and just the teensiest bit of pride when he extended the hand of peace and reconciliation toward other religions. To me, he epitomized what it means to be pope.

To you, Karol Jozef Wojtyla (voy TIH wah), farewell and may God receive you in His loving arms and show you how pleased He is with you.

It has been a pretty interesting week. Trying, but it still had its moments.

IT hit me without warning. This feeling that sometimes graces my door with its own brand of gloom. I thought it was an emptiness I refused to acknowledge, but it seems to be more than that. Whatever it may be, I have always climbed out of whatever dark hole it put me in. But Tuesday afternoon was a totally different thing. I felt IT 100x magnified, like some overwhelming force that just wanted to push me into the brink. Instead of feeling being put in a hole, I felt like I was floating into an abyss where struggle is futile and chances of getting out nil. The worst part: I still can't figure out what it is that is eating at me, choking me until even screams produce only an eerie silence.

As always, whenever I am struck by this mood, I automatically go into defcon 5 -- forcefield up, system shutdown, lockdown on my head and heart. The tendency to be morose and unreasonable grow ever stronger with each passing minute. I hate having to deal with this but I can't do anything to stop it either. Nothing short of running headlong into a brick wall, that is.

I turn to music and much alone time as a way to deal with this. No such luck on alone time, though, as this is the time where work is aplenty. At least I have my music. It never fails to soothe my befuddled brain; spending time with my friends, with them regaling me with their stories, fill in the ever growing void that starts to get a grip on me (hugs to you both, C and G ).

I have always dealt with this by myself. I never ever want to be so vulnerable as I have made myself to be years ago. Am I now reaping the effects of my self-imposed isolation? I just realized that people who want to get close to me need a pick axe, a whole lot of patience and a good deal of determination. Not to mention interest. Friends hardly see me like this because rarely do I show this facet of me to anyone. How did I ever become so unfair to myself and to people who know me?

Yesterday's phone call to Dheby to greet her happy birthday a day early was a reminder that God never intended for me to be alone. It is my pride and stubbornness that has made me so. Talking with Dheby,
hearing Maryann and Liza at the background, made me feel like everything is going to be alright in the Land of Fay soon. It's like I just saw a ray of sunlight slice through dark gray clouds.

Today I woke up with a better disposition. I am not totally back to my "old" self but I don't feel boxed in and miserably drowning. This is a good way to start the weekend. It is such a relief to be on the verge of
shaking off whatever the heck this lousy feeling is.

I'm My Own Grandpa
( Lonzo & Oscar )

It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life,
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother.

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild,
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

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Silly song, I know. But it makes you think.

I had such a wonderful weekend. Yes, I wasn't able to be with friends at Bantayan but things worked out fine.

Then this afternoon, I got a piece of shocking -- delightfully shocking, that is -- piece of info straight from the source.

I think it must be the intense summer heat; I am getting a severe case of the stupids.

It's downhill-going this week. A few more clacks on the keyboard and before you know it, the weekend's here.

Even if someone told me the previous weekend was a signal for things to come for me this week, I still would've been super skeptical. But my goodness!! I never had the experience of feeling my face burn for four days now. If I experience embarrassment again tomorrow I may need an ambulance and second-degree burn treatment before the weekend arrives.

I want to say it's all good but for the life of me I can't help but just squirm in my seat right now.

Sigh.

Holy !!

I just can't seem to get away from any face-burning scenario these days. There I was, enjoying the breeze from the ceiling fan and gazing around at the resort's souvenir shop when pops this statement-turned-question. Sheesh!!

I think my face is just going to melt before long, leaving just the skull and bone. I would be so beautiful to look at with sockets for eyes and a huge hole for a nose. Brown bag, anyone?

I so wanted to go whale-watching this summer. Sadly, they say you cannot see any whales at the migration path somewhere off the island of Pamalican or Balicasag, near Bohol.

What have we done to these beautiful creatures? I know times are hard but hunting whales at this day and age should be banned. Well, of course, it is banned but do people really pay attention?

It was equally disappointing to see the bird sanctuary in Olango Island at such a state of decline. No wonder you can hardly see any of the birds when they do their migration to more tropical climate.

Sigh.

Saturday afternoon. Malling with Greza at SM. The girl was all smiles as she lugged her newly-purchased hard disk around the mall. That's because I wouldn't let her put it in her bag. Teehee! I mean, she paid a handsome price for it, so I wanted to have some fun and see some techno-geek with not enough moolah to gaze and just drool a bit. OK, my bad, but there it is.

I was comfy in front of the TV at about 11:30pm when Greza texted "Coffee? " Sigh! I would've been out of the house in a flash except I really couldn't get my feet to move. Instead, I had a shower and went to bed.

Sunday was suprisingly eventful sans electricity. Oh well....I still had fun early morning & that's all that really matters. It was muggy all day. Thank goodness it started raining early in the afternoon. It was great to just sit outside the house with a good book, feel the cool breeze, watch the rain come down and the trees sway; being there as silent witness to Mother Nature at work. It wasn't long before I succumbed to drowsiness brought about by the low temp and the sound of pouring rain. I went inside for a nap.

It was one of the best weekends I have had in a while. Indeed, the best things in life are free.

chiki cheeks

see definitions below and associate them with something soft and nice to look at, especially on a girl named Chiki



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Main Entry: 1cheek
Pronunciation: 'chEk
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English cheke, from Old English cEace; akin to Middle Low German kAke jawbone
1 : the fleshy side of the face below the eye and above and to the side of the mouth; broadly : the lateral aspect of the head
2 : something suggestive of the human cheek in position or form; especially : one of two laterally paired parts
3 : insolent boldness and self-assurance
4 : BUTTOCK 1

Main Entry: cheeky
Pronunciation: 'chE-kE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): cheek·i·er; -est
: having or showing cheek : IMPUDENT
- cheek·i·ly /-k&-lE/ adverb
- cheek·i·ness /-kE-n&s/ noun

This is one of those songs that catches you off-guard. You hear it once, and the next thing you know, you're stuck with it. It is a pop song with a catchy beat. But more than that, I like that it talks about loving the person's soul -- the totality of someone.

When someone tells me s/he loves my beautiful soul, then I know that it truly is real, unconditional love.


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song title: Beautiful Soul
artist: Jesse McCarthy

CHORUS:
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just want to know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

Your beautiful soul, yeah

Whoopee!!!

After all these years, I finally get to set foot in Bohol again. We will be leaving for Bohol tomorrow evening but I already started packing my bags last night. Yep, that's how excited and raring to go I am.

Chiki and Greza have our itinerary down pat but you know how plans change once you get to the place. I am game; anything goes. I will be happy as long as I get to visit some scenic spots and enjoy the weekend with friends.

This early I want to say thank you to our sponsors: Anna and Amuer.

Text message from Arvee:

Describe me in ONE WORD just one! Send it to me then send this msg to 10 friends & see how many wonderful/strange things people think about you! Txt back!!


Replies I received from friends:

Likes-to-go-out-with-friends (from the Tagalog work magimik)
Deep
Complex
STUBBORN!!! (yep, that was how it was written )
Ok, Intelligent
Outspoken!
Strong-willed and fun to be with (Tita Paz won't settle for just one word )
Stubborn
Strong
Talkative (from the Cebuano word tabi-an)
Awesome
Stubborn
Intelligent (again... )
Calm


I sent the text message to Mom and her reply was: Adorable. Hah! Beat that!

Notice how the top description is Stubborn?