butterfly kisses

It's not always the first that matters. There are days, occassions, events where second carries more weight, has more bearing, gives much more solid meaning.

Could it be because seconds are a time for savoring? Like...
> a second helping of a new or exotic dish;
> a second look at a scenery whose beauty outright amazed you at first glance;
> a second reading of a book that you initially thought of as brilliantly written, amusing or thrilling;
> a second chance to do over something important;
> a second moment to realize how good an experience was that you just can't wait to tell your friends.

So who says firsts are always the ones to go after, or to treasure? I think taking time to go after seconds is when you really get to have an experience. But hey...that's just me.

This is fun....although not exactly very accurate, I don't think. (I don't hate being alone. )

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed Actively working to achieve what you want, you are skillful in many areas. You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding. You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force. An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people. You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor. People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all. You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone. Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Thanks to Tom Wilson and Tom II.

ODES
Hafiz

The rose is not the rose unless thou see it;
Without good wine, spring is not spring for me.

Without thy tulip cheek, the gracious air
Of gardens and of meadows is not fair.

The rosy limbs, unless I may embrace,
Lose for my longing eyes full half their grace;

Nor does thy scarlet mouth with honey drip
Unless I taste its honey, lip to lip.

Vainly the cypress in the zephyr sways,
Unless the nightingale be there to praise.

Nothing the mind imagines can be fair,
Except the picture that it makes of her.

Surely good wine is good, and green the end
Of gardens old – but not without the Friend.

HAFIZ, the metal of thy soul is base:
Stamp not upon it the Beloved’s face.

Jars of Clay's Disappear just got this hold over me. I never get tired listening to this song. The lines just blows me away. Like I can totally relate someone saying that to me or me wanting to say that to someone. Totally awesome. Powerful.

Disappear
by Jars of Clay


I watch you smile
You steal the show
You take a bow
The curtain falls in front of you
You're magical, on display
I gaze into your eyes and
You turn to look the other way

But I'd really love to know
I'd really love to climb
My way into your heart
And see what I could find
I'd walk into your skin
Swim through your veins
See it from your eyes
I'd really love to try...yeah

Standing still, but in my mind
Trying to escape
Looking for a place to hide
Well it's not safe but I'm so near
Invading every place you go
To disappear

I'd really love to know
I really want to climb
Into your soul
Walk into your skin
Swim through your veins
See it from your eyes
I'd really love to try
I'd really love to try

Yeah...yeah...yeah...try

Yeah, I wanna get inside the you
You're hiding from
Yeah I wanna get inside the you
You're hiding from
I wanna get inside the you
That you are hiding from

This describes me to a T. Eerie.



Poseidon


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Monday
Such a blah day. Of course, since Sinulog week just ended, it is no surprise to see people barely keeping eyes open at work. I had a blast that weekend so I couldn't really complain.
Met high school batchmates for dinner at Bigby's. Whoa! Can't believe it has been 15 years since I saw them last. We may have only been seven girls, but we sure rocked the house!
Ended the night with Iris, Chiki and Greza. Chiki had the time of her life when the guys playing at Kahayag did covers of her fave Dashboard Confessional, U2 and The Beatles.

Tuesday
Finally mustered enough panache to wear my favorite Loalde dress to work. Don't even get me started on the guys reactions (at work). Suffice it to say that it's great to remind them once in a while that girls are girls eventhough they wear jeans most of the time.

Wednesday
I never thought conducting interviews could be so stressful -- on the part of the person asking the questions, that is. Finding the right fit for a position is hard work.
I missed tuna curry so we had a sumptious dinner at Persian Palate at Mango Square. Greza and Chiki had a lot of stories to tell. Their office is really abuzz with a lot of stuff. Teehee!

Thursday
Mom woke me up at 2am; she got a phone call saying Dad was at the hospital - mild heart attack. Need I say more?
I went home at 6am; too tired to think or even feel. When I woke up again at 10:30am, I couldn't think straight and I felt really cold. Now I could actually digest the info that I couldn't grasp earlier. And that is what left me feeling like I had ice inside my skin.
I had to cancel my lunch date with the girls because I just knew I was gonna be all mopey and distracted. I didn't want them to not be their fun, happy selves on my account. I am glad they understood.

Friday
Dad looked a whole lot better. I am overjoyed.

---------------

Through that gray day in my week, I am thankful to friends and colleagues who showed a lot of sympathy. Their prayers and kind words helped me face my fear. They also made me understand that I had a lot to be grateful for that my dad didn't have it worse.

One person stupefied me -- he was instrumental in making me acknowledge my fear. I cursed him for it...but I thanked him in the end because what he did helped me a great deal. I couldn't believe what he said - that he was there for me. All the same, I am happy to know that he cared.

---------------

Time to go visit dad.

First day of coming to work at 7am. It's refreshing to see how the streets are so empty at 6:45am. Its gonna be like this for this week. I hope it doesn't extend until next week; but I guess that's still ok. Beats having to do a graveyard shift any day.

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I used to hate Mondays. Used to being the operative phrase. Since about a few months back, I have looked forward to Mondays because it is the only day in my work week that's kinda slow, unhurried, laid back. Why that is -- long, boring story.

----------

Sunday evening was fun. Chiki and I were texting back and forth about E. My gosh! The girl can grill a person! She kept on at me like a dog with a bone. "Basta, trust me, I kno sumthin's up." Wha--?? Trust her about that? Noooo waaaay!

C has this uncanny ability of seeing through people's actions and motives. More often than not -- ok, I admit, 98% of the time -- she is right on target. I get scared shitless whenever she gives me this look, smiles and says "no comment" because I just know I am gonna regret asking about or denying it.

Yup, I am totally in denial and with good reason. Who knows what goes on in people's minds today? Besides, it is making me so damn uncomfy I just wanna grow talons and scratch my skin in the hopes of not feeling like something's gonna hit me smack in the face. At least, with raw skin, I can plunge into the sea and scream bloody hell. That should get my mind right back on track.

C, I still maintain that I hope to 11th heaven you are wrong!

I was just talking about how I can go 3 days without much sleep but crash after the 3rd day. Last night, I did just that. Got home a little past 7pm, ate a light dinner and bid the waking world a tired "good night!" I slept like a log as soon as my head hit my pillow.

(G wanted to go to Ayala but texted me a little too late; I was home then. Too bad. I was thirsty for some frappies. )

I woke up at about quarter past 1am to hear my brother getting ready for work -- "Poor H..." -- and promptly went back to sleep again.

I will most likely experience deja vu later on in the week. Tonight and tomorrow night I will be going out with friends. Doesn't matter. Iris will be leaving again for Dubai this weekend; I won't see her for another year. The thought of another crash on Friday is just a teensy crumple in my life when compared to the joys of being with her and other well-loved friends.

Can't wait!

paced up and down the conference room..

who says one cannot de-stress at the office?

of course, having your own office is a major bonus

I feel like gloating.

Been a while since I did that. Well, years, to be honest about it. But last night kinda went my way and nailed something down. Solid.

C, what did i tell you?

What a huge difference 2% makes; especially when it means I am right.

January is about to draw to a close. How time flies when you are having fun. Indeed. Iwiz being here threw my resolve of no-more-night-outs right out the nearest trash bin. Not that I am complaining. Well...I guess I am complaining -- about how short her two-week stay is; how we never really spent a lot of time together because she got a full sked and I got work. But then again, it's not really quantity as much as quality.

Last night's dinner with Iwiz, Pearl and Shoogz was a total riot. I think the Big Mao crew got the shock of their lives -- how can four girls eat so much and make such noise?! Easy. Try more than a year of having to contend with 10-minute YM conferences, offline messages, sporadic email and a pending wedding to plan for.

Life right now, sans sleep, is still very good.

Last night I almost couldn't sleep a wink. Mom was OK with me moving out of the house by March. Finally!

It has taken me a good part of five long years to get my parents' nod. I have wanted to experience how it is to fend for myself and live independently. Don't get me wrong, my mom has always encouraged me to go venture out and live life the way I want to. My concern was dad -- he has no problem with my brother and I being where we were since we were both still single. "What's the point of building this house if you would move anyway?" has always been his argument.

But last night, as I shared my plans with mom -- and dad being within earshot -- I was ecstatic that she was supportive, as always. I was a bit apprehensive waiting for dad to make a comment or give his why-do-you-have-to-think-about-moving-out speech.

Nary a word. Whew!

Now my list of must-haves is growing ever longer. I am beginning to think the term must-haves is totally INappropriate.

A house-hunting I shall go.....whoopee!!

Main Entry: 1vict·ual
Pronunciation: 'vi-t&l
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of Middle English vitaille, from Middle French, from Late Latin victualia, plural, provisions, victuals, from neuter plural of victualis of nourishment, from Latin victus nourishment, way of living, from vivere to live -- more at QUICK
1 : food usable by people
2 plural : supplies of food : PROVISIONS

Main Entry: 2victual
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -ualed or -ualled; -ual·ing or -ual·ling
transitive senses : to supply with food
intransitive senses
1 : EAT
2 : to lay in provisions